you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
