Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
