I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
