haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
and you fell through a lawn chair
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
