if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize