what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
