mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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