I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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