well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
BRING THE BAGELS
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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