Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
