Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
