I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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