The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize