I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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