just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just want nice things and good sex
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize