I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
