Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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