Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study

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(916): View more from California

Michael Bay diarrhea

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(402): View more from Nebraska

New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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(716): View more from New York

fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

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(843): View more from South Carolina

No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.

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(240): View more from Maryland

This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.

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(208): View more from Idaho

i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(

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