Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
