I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
