So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
