you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
