ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
