margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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