I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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