I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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