I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize