so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
