ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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