I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Michael Bay diarrhea
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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