And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
