His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
