When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize