physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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