he fucked my hip out of place.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I will be naked everywhere
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
