Grow some girl-balls and come out already
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
