Me too!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
