Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
