Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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