The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just high enough for therapy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
