This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize