My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
