How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
