it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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