Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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