He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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