The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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