i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize