The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
