what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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