I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
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Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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