I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
