you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize