but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize