After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
