Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
