i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
