After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
