i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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