Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
