They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
