I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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