He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
