One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS