Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
