we have officially lost it.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
